A parent’s perspective – baby comes first

Ever since we’ve become parents, the Hubs and I have spent less time away from home, less time away from each other, and as little time as possible away from J.  As soon as that little one enters your world, they become your #1 priority.  Besides that, you WANT them to be your #1 priority.  You will find yourself choosing spending time at home with you little one and you family over spending time away.  The things that you enjoy doing and find yourself missing doing, you will find yourself choosing your little one over those things.  It’s a choice that you start to make automatically.  It’s barely registers as a “decision” actually.  It became so automatic to us that we don’t even question it anymore.

A close friend asked the Hubs to go on a long weekend camping trip the other day.  In the pre-baby days, the Hubs would have jumped at the opportunity – backpacking and camping with the guys for a few nights in a row would have been close to heaven for him.  Fast-forward to post-baby days…total change of mind.  The Hubs didn’t even ask me if it would be OK for him to go away for a few nights.  Instead he already knows and already has decided that he doesn’t like to be away from J (and maybe me too) for more than a night.  A baby changes everything.

What was particularly interesting about this specific situation was that this friend got pretty upset about the Hubs not wanting to spend more than one night away.  It wasn’t that Hubs couldn’t spend more than one night…although it wouldn’t make me very happy…but that he did not want to.  Funny how it changes, huh?  It has very little to do with the Hubs not wanting to spend time with his friends doing something he enjoys, and has everything to do with spending as much time with your little one as you possibly can.

I remember how the Hubs and I used to be in the pre-baby days.  Knowing us we probably would have been a little annoyed at a friend who would turn down what seemed like an awesome opportunity to get away for the sake of having a family or something similar.  I get it, I’ve been there.  But now it’s almost comical when someone uses your choice to stay home with the kiddo as a means to be upset over your decision.  Your whole perspective changes the minute that little one comes into the world.


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