a.simple.mama

A different birth, a different story…

Published on February 5, 2015 by a.simple.mamaLeave a comment

On January 27th we were blessed with our sweet baby girl “C”. As fast as the pregnancy went, and as quickly as J has grown into his 20 month self, it still baffles me how quickly this first week has gone by. So far we are adjusting quite nicely to being a family of 4. J is already an awesome big brother – we never doubted this though. But now for the birth story…

Since my labor with J was pretty quick, I suspected that C would also come along quite quick. If only I’d know just how quick! At my 39 week appointment I was already at 5cm and 90% effaced…we all thought she’d come any day at that point. But just like her brother, she was right on time. Born exactly on her due date. At 1:30 am I started feeling contractions. Much stronger than the many many you feel the closer you get to going into labor. 3 contractions and 15 minutes later I woke up the Hubby and called my Mom to head down the hill. I swear J had a sense something was happening cuz he woke up shortly before my contractions started and by the time we left for the hospital 45 minutes later, he was wide awake and sitting on the couch with Dada until reinforcements arrived to stay with him. It was quite funny though as I cussed and danced my way through each contraction…my sweet 20 month old sponge started trying to repeat my cuss words…whoops!

Luckily the hospital is only 10 minutes away – especially at 2am when you run all the red lights…ahem…By the time we got into our room in labor and delivery, I was at 8 cm. Hubby and I had talked about not going with an epidural this time around. Getting one with J had delayed everything by 12 hours…ugh. We were not going to do that again! And a few weeks ago I’d had a chat with my midwife about what I planned to do – epi or not – and she’d mentioned how once you’ve been through labor up to 8 or 9 cm the pain doesn’t get much worse through the end. If you can just stick it out for a little longer, you’ll get through it all much quicker. Something I wish I would have known the first time around, really. Especially since my labors go so quickly. I also planned to do a VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) with the hopes that Miss C would have a smaller head than her brother… Anywho, we both laughed when they asked if I wanted an epi as I was nearing 9 cm. Lo and behold, 5 minutes later I was ready to start pushing. Thankfully I flew through the pushing and only 1 1/2 hours after my contractions started I was holding my sweet girl.

She had been under stress during the quick labor and had already pooped, and we found out that the cord was tied in a knot around her ankle as well. But here she was, healthy and perfect…and very punctual.

This labor was quite different from my first, but I wouldn’t expect them to be the same. No two things are. After a successful VBAC the complications set in…

They soon discovered that there was placenta left behind and although some of it was retrieved, an ultrasound later that morning showed that there was even more to go and get. We had hoped to spend only 1 night at the hospital after a ” normal” birth, but no-can-do when you need a D&C under general anesthesia to clean out what was left behind. Thankfully they did the ultrasound and the procedure and in the end, although I lost over a pint of blood, I finally was able to start recovering. Still only 2 nights in the hospital compared to 3 after my C-section!

It still took a full week before I started feeling human again. That much blood loss and I will be anemic for a while. I get winded walking up the stairs, and the smallest chores are quite wearing. But C is nursing like a champ, J is adjusting nicely to his little sister, and Hubby has been great at keeping things in order in our new chaos.

I watched What To Expect When You’re Expecting a few days ago. Although being a little postpartum played a part I’m sure, it was the perfect movie to watch as you come out of a pregnancy. One of the few movies that shows the many, many different sides of birthing. It’s never exactly as you planned or expected. But in the end everything is just as it should be.

I am feeling very blessed to have a beautiful daughter, a sweet little boy, an amazing husband…and another birthing story to tell 🙂

Anxiety

Published on January 9, 2015 by a.simple.mamaLeave a comment

The number of changes that will happen in the next 2-3 weeks seems abundant lately. Any pregnant woman can tell you the level of anxiety as you near your due date. The level and effect of that anxiety varies greatly, but I guarantee all Mama’s have it. For me it’s wanting to get through the impending pain of labor and meet my sweet baby girl already. Seems to me like the second time around, the end can’t come quick enough! The “thrill” of being pregnant wears off a lot quicker after the first. We mama’s know what’s comming…let’s just get er done already!

The level of anxiety I have when I realize that bith means our family will be growing by 1 more person, 1 more set of needs, 1 more little one to split our time and attention between…that’s where my anxiety level grows exponentially. We have found our way as a family of 3 over the last 19 months with J. He is our everything, the one we think about 24 hours a day starting the moment we wake up every day. He is how we start our day, and how we end our day. In a way I think my anxiety stems from a piece of me wishing that he could be our one-and-only forever. Of course, then I remember that we wanted him to have a sibling, that having a little sister will be amazing and bless him forever (and same for little C). But in those few moments before rationality rules my thoughts, I find myself already missing the last 19 months when it was just our little family of 3. J is lucky in that he will have been both an only child AND a sibling. Little C won’t get to experiance the only-child-ness of this family. She will be equally as lucky to have spent her whole life with a big brother, though.

J will also be starting school 2 days a week on Monday. We went and did the walk-through and visited with his class last week, and he did about as I expected. He loves other kiddos, he loved all the new toys and things to explore, but he cried off and on for the little while he was in there without me. Being that I taught this same age of kiddos for years, this is almost textbook reaction for a kiddo that hasn’t been in childcare before. Although as a parent, that isn’t as comforting as it maybe should be. I almost lost it when I walked back in the room and he was tear stained and calling out for Mama. I know a few days of rough transition and he’ll really benefit from having 2 full days a week where the focus is really all on him and getting to play. Doesn’t mean I won’t be a wreck on Monday after I drop him off…

Funny how all these things were conscious choices the Hubs and I made – pregnancy, growing our family, putting J in school – and yet the anxiety still exists. I know that everything will even out, find it’s way, become part of our normal routine. It always does. For now, we will count down the days till our little C joins us, we’ll give J extra love while he’s still the only little one we have, and we’ll embrace all that the new adventure of daycare will bring to J.

Your Daddy

Published on December 1, 2014 by a.simple.mamaLeave a comment

My dearest children,

You are very lucky. There are many lucky kids out there, but few as lucky as you. You have so many people who love you, but one of the most important people is your Daddy.

Your Daddy loves you in a way that only a Daddy can. Your Daddy will be your rock, your go-to-guy, the main man in your life. He will be your best friend, your worst enemy and everything in between. You will have days where he’s your favorite and days where you are mad at him. There will be times you come crying to Mama, and many where you will run to Daddy with your tears. Daddy will be your hero, the one you compare all other men in your life to. Your one and only Daddy.

You will call him Dada, Dad, Daddy, Pop. You’ll share your most important memories with him. You’ll play catch in the yard, kick a ball around, ride on his shoulders, wwrestle in the living room, share your secrets with him. You’ll look to him for advice. Sometimes you’ll listen, sometimes you won’t. When you’re older you’ll ask him about when you were young. You’ll laugh at his jokes, you’ll giggle at his stories.

Your Daddy is a patient man. He is strong when Mama needs a break. Daddy can wrestle and play after a full day of work. Even when he’s sick on the couch, if you come grab his hand he follows you to play. He snuggles with you and kisses your little head. He rocks you to sleep. He makes you laugh and laugh. He is silly, and you love it.

He will give you a bath and let you splash and splash. He will play in the mud, let you play with the power tools, take you in the garage to let you help him. He’ll let you sit in his lap while he plumbs the sink or fixes the house. He will let you invade his personal bubble and not blink an eye. He will love every second of it.

Your Daddy was ment to be a Dad. He tells you he loves you, and even better he shows you how much every day.

I hope even on the days where you aren’t your Daddy’s biggest fan, that you will know how very loved and how very, very lucky you are to have Your Daddy. ♥

5 Stages of Accepting Toddler Sleep

Published on November 21, 2014November 21, 2014 by a.simple.mamaLeave a comment

For the past few weeks your little one has been on an indeterminate pattern of either sleeping through the night with not a peep, or waking between 1 and 3 times seemingly inconsolable. Each time they wake it takes anywhere between 30 seconds of rocking/singing and 3 hours of everything you can possibly think of to get them to finally wear themselves out enough to return to sleep. Last night was no exception to this new sleep pattern.

11:30p – Your toddler decides that your 2 hours of sleep is enough for the night. Not his fault that you don’t go to bed at 7p when they do, right? Besides, his needs are more important than your own, and if he’s not sleeping then, well…no one is.

So, after 10 minutes of wailing coming from the room across the hall it’s clear that your little one will not be putting themselves back to sleep. Enter Mama.

You try to offer water, turn on the night-light, check the diaper, sing the usual Twinkle Twinkle…all with the quick hope that this will be only a 1 wake-up night. You place your little one back in bed not-quite-asleep and return to your own hoping their fussing will subside as they drift back into dreamland. {Denial}

11:45p – Well shit. That didn’t stick.

This time both you and the Hubby get up. Re-check diaper, rub J’s legs – arms – belly hoping its growing pains, offer water, offer food – which he takes 30 minutes later, sing songs, talk calmly, play music, play white noise. J is pulling at his jammies so you un-zip them to make sure he’s not sweating…he’s not, but you blow on his belly which sends him into a round of sudden laughter! You can’t help but laugh too at your little one’s total randomness. 10 minutes of blowing down his shirt followed by laughter and “yeah’s”…but still no eye rubs or any sign that your little one is ready to return to sleep. Hubby has to work tomorrow, so you let him go back to bed and you retire to the living room to walk and sing and walk and sing. {something resembling Anger}

12:30a – Ok. Your legs are about to give out and yet your little one is now more awake than ever and now is fighting you even harder. Time to try the TV babysitter/hopefully the light will put him to sleep like it has you so many times…At least then you’ll get to sit down and close your eyes, right? {Bargaining}

1:30a – While you could easily sleep in this chair, your little one hasn’t so much as yawned in the last hour. And the strange cartoons on at this time of night are making you seriously wonder how things like this make it on TV. You realize you may not get to sleep at all the rest of the night. You’ve already tried putting him to bed 2 more times only to be reminded by screaming that he clearly isn’t going to do that. Nice try Mama. {Depression}

2:00a – You’re finally so exhausted that you resign yourself to listening to some screaming if it means you can lay down in your own bed. You put your little munchkin in his bed with his blankie and his stuffie, close the door and let the screaming ensue. As long as you know he’s safe, not hungry, not poopy then you are OK with letting him have a little scream therapy – aka: wear himself out by yelling. {Acceptance}

2:30a – One last effort finally pays off. You snuggle your little monster one more time as he finally drifts into sleep land once again…

Only to wake at his normal 6am. WTH?! Clearly missing out on 3 hours of sleep hasn’t effected his sleep timeline in the slightest. Damn…

And then you remember…only 10 short weeks until you’ll have 2 of them. Thank goodness you don’t have to work tomorrow, even though you know it’ll still be a day full of cranky Toddler and sleepy Mama. Then again you wouldn’t trade the extra snuggles for the world.

Mama-ism: You’re life will never be the same

Published on November 7, 2014 by a.simple.mamaLeave a comment

There’s lots of things you’ll discover about being a parent. So many ways that you life will never be the same. Changes you will make to your life without so much as a thought about it. Some of them you’ll think back on and wonder how the transition happened so effortlesly. Sometimes you’ll look back and wonder how one little creature could have such a huge impact on certain aspects or habits of your life…

The most common question I’ve found myself asking is in a group setting where we’ve spent the entire time talking about J or things child related…What did we used to have conversations about before we were parents?

But the one that caught me most by surpise? As a parent, your bathroom and personal hygene routine will never be the same!

Ever pooped with your little one sitting on your lap? If you’re a parent (especially a mom), your answer is probably yes!

Yup…never thought you’d cross that line…sure, when you got married you stopped making the effort to close the bathroom door when you pee…but you’d never put that in the same category as letting another person sit on your lap while you pooed.

I’d never really thought about the oddness of this particular new habit until a friend of mine asked if I’d ever peed with J on my lap…ooohh if only that were the extent of it! Maybe you could avoid doing this if you were at home where you could stash the kiddo somewhere safe while you relieved yourself…but what about when you’re at the store by yourself? They don’t have child holders in the stalls so you can use both hands to use the potty…so you get really good at using one hand to do your business and the other to hold your little one – who’s too big to be in a carseat and too little to not wander out of the stall while you’re stuck on the toilet! Oh the conundrum of being a parent!

There’s also the showering with the door open or the little one in the boucy seat right outside the curtain…the getting dressed or undressed with a constant audience…and every other possible thing that you’d normally try and keep “in private” suddenly becomming a 2+ person job.

Ain’t it grand 🙂