Dear spouse, the bathroom is not a time warp…

Like clockwork…

As soon as dinner is on the table *ding* “I have to poo”

When we are walking out the door for errands, which we’ve been rounding the kids up for for the last 15 minutes for *ding* “restroom”

When it’s time to put away laundry or clean up dinner *ding* “be back in a bit”

Each time, 15-25 minutes pass before you vacate The Time-warp. I’m not the first, and certainly not the last to experience this sudden time-suck.

Dear Spouse, guess what?! Time outside of the bathroom, life outside of the restroom, chores and cleanup continue on. It doesn’t slow down, stop, or hold still until you’re done pooing and surfing craigslist for everything under the sun. Yup, I know that’s what you’re really doing in there. The pooing probably lasted 2 minutes, but your cell phone or tablet turns this “quick trip” into a half-hour endeavor!

I know what you’re going to say…”when I gotta go, I cant help it” or “I can’t help that it takes so long”…blah, blah, blahhhhhh. Sorry, not sorry. As a Mom I’m lucky to pee with the door closed, so take your “alone time” at the office and when you’re home, do us all a favor and leave your electronics outside of the potty.