In the past 2 weeks I have done 2 things that should probably earn me the Mom of the year award….if the MOY award is in any kind like the Darwin award. Winner —> right here.

And of course the first happened to be in front of a random person I don’t know (and probably will never see again)…but that almost makes it worse in my mind.  Standing in the checkout line a Kohls with my mom and J last week, and J just loves to chew on Grammas necklaces – which happened to be pink beads this particular day.  Then I see one bead bounce across the floor in front of me…hmm where’d that come from, Oh, Gramma’s necklace is now in 2 pieces….shit.  As I reach into my 10 month old’s mouth and retrieve not 1, not 2, but 4 more pink beads and a 1″ piece of silver chain…in front of this random person, who I’m sure went home and told all her friends about this “dumb mom who almost killed her kid in the store today by letting him choke on pink beads”.  Go me. Ugh.

Then today, as we had just cleaned the entire house top to bottom and lit some candles to clear out the “dirty” smell that it seemed to have pre-cleaning, I pulled yet another awesome MOY move.  Searching through the house to find whatever scented candles I had leftover, I found an oil burner – you know, the ones that you put scented oil in the top part and a tea-light candle underneath.  Never had any issues with this particular one in the past… Then we all headed out on a nice long walk in the spring weather.  45 min later we returned home to find an oil burner on fire. Yup, the entire thing was almost engulfed in flame…so I casually walk up and try to blow it out…and the flame doubled….then the hubby tried, and it grew again…and then trippled when we sprayed it with water…finally baking soda did the trick, but not before a huge burn mark on our mantle and a smell that totally voided the nice clean smell of our newly clean house. Yup, if we had come home a few minutes later or it the burner had been 6 inches to the right we would have come home to our entire family room on fire. Scary. Shit.

Sure got my heart pumping though.  Between that scare and our 45 minute walk, I’d say my cardio workout for the weekend was filled.

Any other Mom Of the Year candidates out there??